


Apples on Trees

by Arrowsbane



Series: Sumigakure Winter Wishes 2017 [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Other, Sumigakure Winter Wishes 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 17:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13171545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arrowsbane/pseuds/Arrowsbane
Summary: Stocking Stuffer for Just_WillTenzo never really had a proper family, so it stands to reason that the family he made wasn’t exactly normal. You know what they say about apples and trees – they don’t fall far.Prompt"I’d like to see a story about how Tenzou fathered a bunch of kids (doesn’t need to be from one woman or be romantically involved with one at all) because he wanted his wood release to be carried on to future generations."





	Apples on Trees

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Just_Will](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Will/gifts).



> I went off on a bit of a tangent here, but hey, it worked. Also, I’m pretty sure I bent the timeline here, but who gives a crap. Ace!Tenzo. 3some!Santa-Shisui-Hana.

Tenzo never really had a proper family.

He didn’t have a mother and a father, instead he had a mad scientist experimenting on his genetic structure, and an old war-hawk with a serious micro-managing problem.

He didn’t have a grandfather, instead he wound up with a Hokage in the shape of a crooked old man who ripped up one side of Root, and down the other with a ferocity that burnt hotter than foxfire.

He didn’t have a brother or a sister either, instead he got a Kakashi… and he’s pretty sure it’s  _broken_.

So it stands to reason that when he did, eventually, build his own family, it wound up a little… odd.

…

It takes a while, but Tenzo finds himself stood in front of the Hokage, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

“I wish to have offspring,” He states, and the Hokage frowns contemplatively. In the background, Tenzo can hear at least three of the ANBU guards slip from their perches in shock, and a fourth choke on his own spit.

“I see.” The Hokage replies, his tone neutral. Tenzo relaxes in his place, before the Hokage adds.

“But you don’t have much experience with children.”

Tenzo blinks.

“I am both capable of, and able to provide care for infants.” He says, confused. After all, one of his duties for Root was to care for the younger recruits – ensuring they were fed and clothed.

“Nothing beats experience Tenzo,” the Hokage tells him, before grinning cheerfully, and tosses a dossier at Tenzo’s head. He catches it, and opens it warily.

“Hokage-sama?”

“It’ll be very good for you,” the Sandaime replies, “and most amusing for me.”

…

Tenzo finds himself blinking down at his six new companions. Three Genin: Uchiha Shisui, Honda Santa, and Inuzuka Hana - plus three ninken puppies who are tearing apart… something.

His first thought, is that this is not going to work.

…

Fast forward a year or so, and Tenzo finds himself with honest-to-god actual minions who will do anything he says, so long as it involves the humiliation and suffering of somebody very much so not-them. The little voice at the back of his head whispers that this is not quite like having kids, but he  _has_ gotten better at handling small people with _emotions._

Maybe the Hokage  _does_  know what he’s doing after all.

…

His first child is, of course, a daughter. A daughter named Kaede, with maple hair and dark brown eyes and lungs that have more strength than a hurricane. She never seems to sleep either, and so ­­Tenzo and his genin quickly learn to pray for her naptime, because it’s the only time they ever have that is peaceful – unless they take shifts, of course. The only problem with shifts… is that Kaede has a sixth sense for when they try to sneak away and loses it.

It’ll be years before they find out she’s a natural-born sensor with a range that would make the Nidaime weep with jealousy.

There will come a day when missing-nin will flock to Konoha, because they could run and run and run and she would always,  _always_  find them.

…

Masaki and Mikio come next, fraternal twins who were apparently demons in a past life, because  _nowhere is safe_  once they learn how to crawl. Even Hana’s poor ninken aren’t spared – their tails and ears being pulled at every opportunity.

Hana whimpers whenever it’s her turn to change the nappies, and does so with an honest-to-god clothes peg on her sensitive nose.

Shisui tried to hide… only to be dragged back by his long-suffering girlfriend who is not  _putting up with his crap goddammit._

[Somewhere in between the Twins being born, and the next kid coming along, Tenzo comes to the conclusion that not only have his brats his puberty – hard – they’ve folded themselves into some kind of threesome. Huh.

In all honesty, he doesn’t care – so long as they keep it to the bedroom, and nothing happens with the kids around.]

Santa… Santa has the strange civilian ability to breeze through child-rearing with an ease that is normally associated with a ninja killing somebody, which is probably why the others hand the kids off to their boyfriend at every opportunity.

It’s terrifying.

And yet, it’s because of this that Tenzo is beyond grateful that the Hokage gave him brats before kids.

…

Naoki.

Where does one even begin to describe this one? An accurate assessment would be to describe him as the second coming of the Shodaime – a genius, but an emotional genius.

He’s been known to catch Jonin in his traps before even making Genin, and yet… he’s also been caught trying to teach various plants and shrubbery how to recognise – and attack – shinobi from other villages.

It seems to work though, because it stops the Hyuuga incident cold when one particular bush of roses wraps a Kumo nin in thorny ropes when said nin tries to kidnap the three-year old heiress.

The Hyuuga take special care to water this bush now, and have been witnessed making many trips to the Yamanaka flower shop to purchase both fertilizer and companions for it – and now the entire compound is surrounded by various colors and species of roses. It’s both beautiful… and deadly.

Tenzo is so proud, he doesn’t even have the words.

Shisui does. He practically keels over giggling about Killer Roses, and asks permission to plant them in the Forest of Death.

Sarutobi actually finds himself considering it…

…

Haruki is his last child (with a glare that can stop a Kage in its tracks and a demeanor that convinces many that he’s the reincarnation of Senju Tobirama), and like all the others, was born with the help of a surrogate.

The only difference being, is that the psychological evaluator clearly flubbed his job and Tenzo found himself on the verge of a custody battle, before the Hokage put his foot down.

Haruki is the only one of the lot who has visitation with his birth mother – and even then it’s carefully monitored; as the birth mother turned out to be a distant, but favoured, cousin of the daimyo.

Haruki also happens to be the only one who would grow up to be an undercover agent for the Daimyo’s court, so there’s that.

…

The kids grow into righteous rage, shaped like small people with big brown eyes and smiles that could cut you as easily as the weapons they wield. As luck would have it, they all present with Mokuton, and Konoha has never had it so easy in the fruit department as orchards of fruit-bearing trees seemingly sprout overnight.

His Genin grow too – Hana becomes a skilled veterinarian and tracker, heads and shoulders above the rest; her puppies are now strong and swift ninken, although they’ll still chew his zori to pieces if given the chance.

Santa goes into the medical field, and specializes in poison and using medical techniques in battle – he’s in charge of the greenhouses too, which makes Tenzo proud as… well, proud as a green-thumbed ninja with successful students.

Shisui… Shisui masters his Sharingan, and becomes famous for his use of the body flicker in battle. So famous in fact, that he’s got a flee-on-sight order for three out of the four other ninja villages.

The only ones who don’t take him seriously are Suna, and that’s because they’re all terrified of meeting Santa in the field. 

If only people knew Shisui’s skill came from being a sleep-deprived Genin who just wanted to change a nappy  _and go back to sleep_. 

If only.

…

Twelve years after that strange, strange day when Tenzo confronted him with the desire for offspring, the Hokage finds himself beaming with pride as a pack of tiny wood-producing children terrify ninja and civilians’ alike.

It’s almost like having Hashirama-sensei back.


End file.
